BLIND DATE: A GOOD IDEA?

BLIND DATEFor some, the blind date can be an exciting change from the normal routine. For others it is a last chance to find happiness. There are of course many reasons to agree to a blind date.

The mid-1980s introduced a comedy (with Bruce Willis and Kim Bassinger, as we well remember) as well as a new term (and a new habit) in Europe: A ‘blind date’. A trend – so we could call it – which perhaps was the first warning of what would later become a social phenomenon: the crisis of the single thirty-something year olds (think Bridget Jones’ Diary).People who have no time to find a partner in their thirties, and people who are unable to maintain their thirties who cannot even remember what it’s like to have a relationship.

Often a blind date is set up by well-meaning parents or friends who are in happy relationships and do not truly think about how degrading it is to “set you up” with someone you’ve never even met. Parents do not understand why their beautiful daughter does not have a boyfriend or husband and friends just want you to experience true love as they have and maybe feel a bit bad for you. Either way, it’s still degrading.

If it is a friend or acquaintance organizing a blind date for you, check back in your memory and see if the date was “sold” to you, ie “He’s older than 30, has a good job, is really smart and interesting. You two have to meet each other, I think you have a lot in common!” Sometimes things are made out to sound better than they really are, and a blind date is no exception.
We want to help you, though, so we have drawn up another of our usual lists of tips that can come in handy when you have agreed to go on a blind date your girlfriend set up for you. We thank our loyal reader Sophie for her valuable suggestions, but of course we ask you to contribute again.  JThat does not mean that all blind dates are destined to fail, however. There are some examples I’ve heard of blind dates turning into love and even marriage. Humans tend to be pessimistic by nature, though, and almost derive a little pleasure from pain.

Now our suggestions:

  • If he lives in a different place than you, do not be lazy, but travel to him. It takes some effort to get around but you will be rewarded, because if either of the two of you start to get bored, you can just leave. You only have to exclaim: “Oh! Is it that time already? I’d better go to pick my mother up from the train!” and off you go. Never organize a blind date in their home. You take a risk of not being able to leave tactfully, he may expect more than you are willing to give, or he could be outright dangerous (scary but true).
  • Try to understand why this young man at his age is still looking for the one (maybe for the same reason you are??). Did he just have bad luck or women lost interest with him after a short time? If you are curious, try asking in a gentle manner and coax it out of him without looking pushy or aggressive.
  • Do not be too good for him. Don’t get us wrong! We don’t think it’s a good idea to show up to your blind date looking like you just woke up and cleaned the house in dirty sweat pants, but it is safer to not look too sexy because that might give him the wrong impression. Plus if you are not feeling his vibe, maybe he will be more willing to let you leave if he is not dazzled by your cleavage and bare legs.
  • If you do arrange with him in your hometown (point 1 is not applicable), ask a good friend (not the one by whom the blind date was organized) to – incognito – to remain in the neighborhood. Should you want to leave, this person can “bump” into you or call you saying you are needed and ask if you need a ride home. This is a backup plan.
  • If you do not feel this relationship will go any further than the initial date, listen to your instincts. It is better to be frank and cut it off before investing any time into somebody you are not compatible with. Who knows, he may be feeling the same way? It is better to go home alone than to be out on a horrible blind date.

Those were our suggestions. We are looking forward to yours! Send us your comments using the box below. Please mention the title of this article. The most interesting responses we will publish below.

I’ve had two blind dates and can give you the following tips: Make sure you both pay attention to each other, it does not work if it is all one sided, just like a relationship. Try to get to know each other as people but do not bore him with long stories.

I had a blind date once, never again. He started talking about this lamb’s wool scarf he bought right away. I was already bored. Then when we sat down in the restaurant he started rattling off the “rules” of a first date, saying that when he dates someone he needs to feel taken care of, and did I like that he was well groomed? I was rolling my eyes by this point. Then he began talking about his parents’ divorce and the effect it had on him, et cetera. No serious conversation was had with him and when the bill was paid (half by me), I was pleased that the evening was over

Hi,
I’ve been on a blind date once and never will again. We were set up, I will say, by a mutual friend. Unfortunately the night did not amount to anything but it’s done and over with and we are not mad at anybody, it just did not work out.

I’ve never been on a blind date, but to me it seems exciting! There are good tips here for your safety, but a smart woman already knows them. Of course, your safety is the most important thing in any situation! I hope that I get to go on one sometime soon just to see if I like it!

 

Comment: My first official blind date I liked a lot although there were some small mistakes in my eyes. I have eventually made the opportunity to set up a second date with her. I have a tip: Dating sites do not usually succeed and I am speaking from experience. Men, listen. Leave your troubles at home and try to just enjoy yourself. This is how I got her to set up a second date with me and we are still deciding if we want a relationship with each other or not.

Comment: Hi, if I were to do a blind date I would choose something such as the zoo, an amusement park, kayaking or a museum visit. The advantage is that you get to know each other while learning something and you have something to fill in any awkward quiet times. Moreover, you can usually wear casual clothing and not try to impress somebody with your sexy body. Also you can leave whenever you want, which might be a problem if you are having fun!

Greetings, Nele

 

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