How to keep his interest

keep his interest

Yes, you read it correctly: keeping his interest. Literally we will explain to you what we mean. Have you ever went out with a guy but he does not seem to want to move the relationship in any particular direction? There may be tension or sexual frustration in the air but he does nothing? In that case he needs a shove, a push in the back to get him moving. In other words, you need to activate his interest.

Let’s go back to the above scenario. You are on a first date with a guy you like and it seems the feeling is mutual. Your first night together is perfect: he takes you home and you say goodbye. He waves and is gone, nothing more, no good night kiss or even a warm embrace to say goodbye. You may think he is just old-school, a gentleman perhaps. Then the second date happens a few days later and you are at the movies or dinner, or both. You have a sparkling conversation, you both enjoy each other’s sense of humor and laugh at each other’s jokes, but he does not try anything physical with you. Then the third date, then the fourth. The fifth date comes and goes without even so much as a kiss, yet you keep going, hoping, and waiting for…nothing. By this time you may have feelings for him despite the lack of intimate touch.
This is definitely an awkward situation in which you feel blocked and maybe he just needs to be activated (too bad men don’t come with buttons), but in an elegant way without him even realizing. How do you do that? Here is some advice, and if you have anything to add to our list, please use the email box below. As usual, we will publish the best responses below.What to do? Your friends and colleagues begin to wonder what is going on. “You’re together, right?” How do you tell them that it is not going anywhere despite the chemistry and sparks? You may also get thoughts like “He does not like me or he is seeing somebody else”. You feel that perhaps he felt that short dress you last wore a little too much. Maybe he likes you, but he is not attracted to you?

  • Should you make him jealous? This is not really a good idea although it may be one of the oldest and perhaps most common tricks, but you can use it to achieve the opposite result. It could alienate him from you altogether but may work if he is shy but might backfire on you if he is not sure how he feels about you yet.
  • While we do not think making him jealous is a good strategy, perhaps he just needs a little time to himself, a “cooling off” period, if you will.
  • Another tactic: the next time you go out together, just relax completely and see how he acts.
  • Do not be afraid for your own feelings to come out. Tell him that you find him attractive, that you appreciate his company and that you are happy with him. There is nothing wrong with that. Maybe he’s just shy or afraid he will be rejected. If he knows your feelings, maybe he can crawl out of his shell.
  • Become mutual friends with him on social media sites. Maybe he will notice and your messages will be seen by him, through mutual friends. This may make you seem more interesting to him.
  • Try to be more physically flirty with him, but nothing over the top. Maybe put your hand on his arm when you are speaking to emphasize a point, or a simple peck on the cheek. A quick hug may be too much, or it might do the trick. Hold his hand as you try to cross a busy street. Let him know that you feel safe with him physically and hopefully this will encourage him to return the gestures. Physical contact, even if fleeting, can be a powerful catalyst for feelings and emotions.
  • Organize an intimate evening, if possible in your home. Dinner, music and wine, and you of course! The fact that you have isolated him from the outside world will help you on your way to an end. This is the time to observe him without distractions.
  • One last advice: Always keep in mind that you can be rejected during one of your “activating tactics”. And yet, that might be better than a long, lingering affair that eventually ends in nothing. Sooner or later you will have to get over how it stands between you, and the sooner the better.

Do you have any advice? We are curious!

So far, this has always worked for me. Make sure you are somewhere without a ton of people and give him a hug. Then look at him and say something sweet then kiss him full on the mouth, not aggressively, but softly and see if he returns it or not. This may be the start of something he didn’t even realize he wanted. I did this with a man I had two dates with where nothing happened and he was so cute and endearing, never having had a girlfriend. I did this to him and it worked! Success!
This always works for me very well, “Are you going to kiss me or what?”
How can I activate his interest when we have only seen each other a few times and chatted on facebook? Twice I have asked if he wanted to do something fun but he declined. We are both Cancer signs, which means we are shy.
In this article, I think the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo should be recommended, “He’s just not that into you”. You may understand men better after reading this and not get too worked up by their behavior.
These are all recognizable signs to me. I have been in contact with a man who I have spoken to first on MSN. We agreed to meet for the first time but was set back for a time. Contact continued and we agreed once again to meet up, 6 months later. Talk about chemistry! Wow! The attraction was huge. After we met up, contact cooled tremendously, making me think he changed his mind and did not like me. I think he was not in love and simple attraction was not enough for him, and contact ended for a little while. It took me a lot of willpower to not contact him, then all of a sudden he contacted me again. I do not get it but once again I am speaking to him. I do not like hanging on the bell, it is so frustrating!
I agree with all of these points, so much! I can see it all happening, because it did, to me! He would not dare take the first step, and why? I don’t know. Scared, maybe? Now it is much later and I will text him sometimes and he responds; it’s wonderful to speak to him and now he is simply my friend.
Indeed, “He’s Just not that Into You”. I know it but I want him to be. If I know he likes me, I will not want attention from other guys but I also do not want to wait forever and it’s frustrating when the one person you want might not want you back.
It is indeed true that you might just need to say the word. I was kept in suspense for a very long time and I was sick of it, so I used this tactic last night. It worked! All success and now he hugs me all the time!
I recently read some texts from the person I am seeing. “I’ll call you”, it said but he never did and what is so weird is that he tells other people he’s been with me but we have not yet? I really want to know what this means.
I would say not to force it and give him time but do not wait too long. Men love to hunt and if you make it too easy they won’t want you. You must show you are interested but not that you could choke the life out of him by smothering him.
Tell everyone you know that you’re in love with him, except him. He will naturally hear this, and if he does not bite? Time to move on!
I just had this exact same experience with a 20 year old man so this story is very similar to me. He is very shy, as am I, but we can talk about almost anything. This helps us open up to each other but once anything physical begins to happen we once more become shy. I am hoping that by waiting and getting more comfortable with each other that physical contact will happen naturally. I cannot wait!
I have a tip that may work. Suppose he drops you at the door after a first date, then watch him walk away and if he looks back, he might have feelings for you. Blow him a kiss as he is walking away to show him you like him, and next time he might give you a real kiss.
Act as shy as possible, then very sweet and seductive. Sometimes men feel stronger about their situation if they are “in charge” of protecting a vulnerable woman.

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